Remy is becoming a big brother in the next few weeks. He is the beautiful child who made me a mother, and the most wonderful gift I've ever received. The one who says "I wuv you mama" as he drifts off to sleep, rubbing my ear lobes. His bear hugs turn me to mush. And I feel blind as I look forward to the birth of our second child, not knowing exactly how sleeping arrangements will work, or how to make sure I'm giving enough attention to both boys. But I do know that God has perfect timing, and He will lead me. The nice thing about your second time around is that you're so much more confident in the decisions you make. Natural birth, breastfeeding, and co-sleeping through toddlerhood? Been there, done that. And I can't wait to do it again, maybe even better than the first time around. In May of this year I began writing letters in a journal to both Remington and River. Here are a couple of excerpts from Remington's journal...
"What a gorgeous day we're having. This morning when I got out the vaccum, you said "I will vacuum too" and ran to get your toy vacuum. You helped for a good 20+ minutes. I'm so amazed by your sweetness and the way you love to help."
"My protruding belly, filled by your new baby brother, makes picking you up difficult these days. But this past week I felt so blessed when, for the first time, you wrapped your little arms around my neck and whispered "I wuv you". And I could tell you really meant it. You have the sweetest, kindest heart and I know whoever God has in store as your future wife will so appreciate that about you." "I cannot explain how much I love you. You are my world. And though I don't know what the next month will look like, I am choosing to trust God. I know our relationship will change, but you will always be my first little - the one God used to make me who I am today. I'm so grateful for that."
For now I'll keep soaking up the days I have with just Remy. And when River arrives, I know we'll become the family of four we were always meant to be.